Monday, January 23, 2017

Barron Trump

"Do you think Barron Trump is autistic?? Why won't his parents say?" 

STOP. Just full stop right there. Zip your lips. I have some things to say to all of you asking me this and I have the receipts.

First of all, Barron Trump is a ten year old child, whose life just got twisted upside down much like The Fresh Prince of Bel Air without the benefit of having DJ Jazzy Jeff as his homeboy. Think about it. Who are his peers here that he can go kick it with? Like his life prior to this wasn't complicated enough?

Second, who the Hell are you to start clocking his neurological make up from afar? Cause seriously folks, that's what you are doing.  I don't care if you are some fancy schmacy doctor with degrees up the wazoo.  You don't get to diagnosis and then share it with the world.  Nope.   Let me put it in terms you can understand here.  Would you like YOUR doctor to run out in front of you and announce to all that could hear your weight, your blood pressure numbers, or that little infection of yours you picked up from Spring Break '94 from that guy who's name you don't quite remember but you remember to stay clear from Jagermeister shots ever since?  Yeah, it's like that.  It's your body. It's your choice. It's your business.  It's Barron's brain. It's Barron's business.

Third, what about his parents?  They could do so much for the cause and awareness and could slap a puzzle piece on the American flag or something.  It could help so much.  Yeah, I'm sure it could or it could also be a clusterfuck.  What if these were the parents who's ideas about different neurological make ups are down right abusive and dangerous? You really want them representin' #TeamQuirky?  Cause we have already had  a few of those well known celebrities who haven't exactly helped the cause. *coughs Jenny McCarthy cough*

You also don't know where any family is in their (and God I hate using this cliche but here I am having to use it) "journey with autism" or journey with anything because again, we have no idea what this kid has or does not have.  Not all families are screaming it from the rooftops from the get go or even the long go.  It took me years before I was comfortable discussing autism and the Kiddo.  It was up to me to decide when I felt like sharing about it and it's up to them to do the same.

Finally, check yourself.  Check your privilege.  Why are you making such a big huge deal out of this one kid? That what he may have is something that his family is hiding and it's super bad! Gosh darn it we have to tell everyone because you got all Inspector Gadget on YouTube clips about him and you're going to expose it!  How does this even matter to you and your life?   This is putting further stigma on those who have different neurological make ups.  It does not help the cause.  It hurts it.

I already told Betsy DeVos she doesn't get any fries.  Don't make me take away yours too. I will. No fries for anyone.  I will make you go sit in time out and think about what you did to a ten year old kid.

Listen, I did not vote for this kid's father.  In fact, in many ways what his father stands for is pretty much everything I am against as a person.  I will say this.  Back off Barron.  Back off any person, child or adult, that you feel the need to Web M.D. diagnose drive by on.  It's simply not your business.  Period.

I suspect that even Barron isn't buying that "Alternative Facts" line Kellyane Conway.  Just sayin'. 

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Dear Betsy Devos,

We need to to talk.  Please, sit down.  Kick your pumps off.  Get comfy. We are about to have a "Come to Jesus" conversation.

Now, I don't talk politics all that much on my blog. In fact, I tend to avoid it because I know everyones newfeed is flooded with all that jazz and my audience probably enjoys a break from that stuff.  I am sure there are many folks right now that are rolling their eyes that I am going there and I know for a fact many have stopped reading this already because they are already composing their rebuttal.

To those folks I say "Don't forget to write the part about how you are going to unlike me and not follow me anymore but you keep coming back to keep arguing."  Ya'll know who I mean. I love those folks.  They are THE BEST.

But I digress.

Betsy, Can I call you Betsy? Okay, anywho, no, I didn't vote for Trump. (Anyone shocked by this statement may I remind you I frequently quote drag queens like religious scripture? I mean, really? Did you think I was a conservative person? Come on.) But anyway, Nope. Didn't vote for the guy but he's in charge and so yeah, I am watching who he picks for cabinet stuff with a serious case of side eye and "Okay, who is dis guy/gal?"

Now you don't exactly have a lot of typical qualifications that one would think one would need in order to be the Secretary of Education but I was thinking you would probably be prepping yourself for your hearings.  Like you would probably hire some folks to school ya on well, schools and stuff.

I was mistaken.

Or you need to get your money back because

GURL, HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT THE IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act WAS A FEDERAL LAW?!?!?!?!?! HOW?!?!?!   How on earth could you even suggest that this is a matter to left up to the states????  HOW!!??!?!?!?!?!

(If you all haven't seen this clip from the hearing, I highly suggest watching it.  Devos Hearing)

Let me explain how IDEA works, shall I? It is to provide students with disabilities, a free and appropriate public education (FAPE) in the least restrictive environment.  That both teachers and parents will help create a tailor made plan for that child to learn.  We call these IEPs. Individualized Education Plan.

Betsy, even suggesting that this be a matter left up to each state.  Holy crap on a cracker!  You have no freaking idea how bad of an idea that would be to millions of kids.  So many families are fighting tooth and nail as is for FAPE for their kids.  You want to make that even harder for them???  WTF!?!?!?

Seriously, think about this.  You want whole families to uproot their lives and pick up and move to different states???  You actually think this is doable? Or fair? Or that this wouldn't then become a huge drain on a state's already limited resources if ALL the disabled kids moved there?  DUDE!!!!

Betsy, Betsy, Betsy. No. Just no.  I'm going full on basic bitch with you right now. I literally cannot even with you but I have to because this is MY KIDDO's future you are messing with here.  Just stop.  STOP!

I don't say this often but no fries for you Betsy.  No fries for you.

And don't get me started about guns in a school because of all the grizzly bears attacks. 

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Is it a scam?

If you didn't think that having a child with autism was overwhelming, try figuring out the best ways to treat and support that child with autism.  In the time it will take you to read this blog post, several new studies will have come out on what might have caused autism. (Newsflash. I don't care. Seriously, I don't.  I've written about that here. "I don't care what causes autism."   )  

It only stands to reason that for every new cause study that comes out, a brand new sure fire treatment for autism will follow.   The variety of which will be vast.  From diets to therapies to gadgets.  Where the Hell do you even begin with all that crap? Seriously. You find out you're having a kid, you at least get a baby shower out of that.  Where's the"Autistic Kid" registry?  Why can't that be a thing?  It needs to be.  All of us old timers could stop by with a covered dish and shower you with chewelry and books that are actually good. The dress code would be "pajama casual/no bras" cause we get it. 

Every time a new "thing" comes out, I can betcha dollars to donuts that my inbox will get filled with messages from friends and folks asking me "Hey, did you hear about this new thing?"

Followed ALWAYS with "Do you think it's a scam?"

And because Autism is freaking expensive, every parent is usually thinking this because we have been burned so many times.  I've written about that here. Autism, some accessories sold separately. Our hearts and our wallets can only take so much.

But since we've been doing this autism thing for ten plus years now and I have some autism tenure, here are some of the things I have learned that may or may not help you when trying to figure out what to spend your money on for your kids.

1) Not everything is a scam but not everything is going to work.

2) There is no way to know what those things will be the things that work. It doesn't matter what it did for my kid.  We're talking about your kid here.

3)Not one damn thing is going to make autism going away.  Spare me the "recover" double speak of the snake oil gimmicks.  Notice they never say "cure", they use words like "recover" to scare the crap out of you. If that's part of their sales pitch to you, flip 'em the bird and walk away.

4) The only thing these things MIGHT do is help lessen some of the more severe symptoms of autism.  (Like dude, if a lavender oil spray on your kid's pillow makes them happy, spray away.)

5) If all this stuff was so rip roaring good, wouldn't it be sold everywhere?  I've yet to see the autism aisle at Target.  I should know. I go there enough.  So again, I look at everything with some serious side eye.

Now I don't mean to be a downer about all this stuff but I just want to remind the newbs to be realistic with this stuff.  If it was that easy, why aren't ALL the parents doing it? You know what I mean?

It also doesn't mean you shouldn't try something. We still try stuff all the time with the Kiddo.  Some stuff has turned out to be awesome. Like going to music therapy.  Others?  Not so much so.  The diets? HAHAHAHAHAHA! Listening therapy? Nada. Chiropractor care? Zip. Braincore Neurofeed back?  Yeah, Kiddo made the guy running it his bitch.

But I still tried it all because not trying would mean not knowing and I had to know.

For as black and white the autistic mind can be, figuring out the best ways to support your loved one with autism can be filled with a lot of gray.

Kiddo at the latest "Let's try it." Shame too. That chiropractor was a good dude. 

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

because Autism.

"Why is he upset every Wednesday?"

I know exactly why the Kiddo hates Wednesdays and there's not a God damn thing I can do about it. Why you may ask?

because Autism.

His behaviors every Wednesday to get to the thing he wants (Music therapy after school) are now creeping into Tuesday. I could almost deal with the weekly "Wtf Wednesdays" if I knew I only had to power through a day of it.  Last night however, he decided to ramp it up about being pissed off at having to go to school the next day.  Why you may ask?

because Autism.

"Well can't you just change the day he goes and not tell him when it's coming?"

Tried it. Didn't really work and it's not that simple.  Not to mention have you ever tried to move a therapy appointment?  Do you know the ripple effect that has over your schedule and the therapists schedule?  What am I suppose to do?  Demand other folks move their appointments around because of my Kiddo?  I don't think I could withstand the #TeamQuirky backlash/karma that would then surely come my way.  Plus, he knows he has this as a therapy.  It's insulting to his intelligence to hide it from him. Also, I don't like lying to him. Which is what that feels like to me.  I won't screw around with that trust.

"Have you tried..." 

Stop.  This is where I need you to not talk.  There is no answer to this. Why you may ask?

because Autism.

This and a thousand other challenges we have on any given day is the only explanation. Autism.  May not be the answer that actually answers the question but it's usually the only reason why something is happening that doesn't make a whole lot of sense to the rest of the neurotypical world.

It's because of autism I ended my Tuesday night being screamed and grabbed at for hours before he passed out to go to sleep. It's because of autism that our day started at 3:58 AM with more screaming. It's because of autism that I spent the next several hours defending and deflecting every grab he tried to do to me before the bus rolled up.  It's because of autism that I found myself in tears before the bus driver trying to tell him it was a bad morning and the man then made me cry more by sweetly telling me "My heart goes out to you."

The only part of this that isn't ALL autism is Kiddo not only thinking but telling me that he will act up as much as possible so I will come get him at school.

because THANKS OLD SCHOOL FOR SETTING UP THAT BEHAVIOR!!!  Yep, thanks to your pure incompetence on how behavior therapy actually works and sending him home all those times. Guess what you taught him to do? Act up = go home.  Thanks a fucking lot.  We have not crossed the threshold of that school since November and your actions are STILL screwing over my Kiddo.  Oh? You're surprised he won't let that go? Seeing as it was weeks ago since he's been there?

because Autism.

Because there is nothing this Kiddo loves to do more than when he's feeling sad, he makes sure to remember every sad time he's had.  Every wrong ever done to him.  Every time he's had a disappointment.  A real walk down meltdown memory lane.  We have to hear about stuff from years ago and help him get through it.

because Autism.

I wonder if I can palm a fifty to the bus driver and he'll pick him up Tuesday night for Wednesday school. Little camp out on the bus? Maybe? I kid. I kid.  (maybe)