Sunday, December 30, 2012

Autism ala Les Miserables

No, I don't think any of the characters were on the spectrum.  No wait a minute. That Inspector Javert guy was kind of obsessing a bit on Jean Valjean.  Like dude, it's like 20 something years gone by since he skipped parole over stolen bread.  Let it go. 

Anyway, there is a point to this post.  The kiddo has been doing pretty good over this long break.  I can't say that this time off of the routine has been that bad.  Other than being so far up my bum I swear he's lounging on my kidneys.  Honestly though, I saw that as a good thing that he was craving some sort of interaction and not off is his own head somewhere. 

My mom offered to take him for the afternoon so Daddy Fry and I could go catch a movie.  I guess by now you figured out we saw Les Miserables. (side note, IT WAS FANTASTIC!)  He had a good time as always at Granny's and ate her out of house and home.  Further convincing her that we never feed him.  I then suggested grabbing an early bird dinner at Applebee's.  He happily went and ate all his fries and his fathers.  (Hey honey, you ever notice that's why I order onion rings? Stops the fry thievery)

Got him home, got him showered and pajamaed up.  Thought, "Sweet!" and then ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!  Frankly I still don't know the full how and why.  This boy melted down into an epic fit of rage.  The likes I have no seen since the pre Risperdone days.   I think he started to realize that even though he had an awesome day it still was not the usual routine.  He started in on a missed bike ride and that was it.  Into the zone of no return.  I thought we could ride it out.  Sometimes he's just got to scream.   Time outs galore.  We tagged each other out and took turns with him.  He was very aggressive towards my husband.  It finally got to a point after two hours of me looking at the husband and saying "Eff this.  He's going to bed"  Melatonin and more drama but dammit if Daddy didn't wrangle that boy off to dreamland. 

 While I'm listening to the last bits of screaming/protesting coming from the kiddo, I drive myself mad trying to figure out what the hell was it that set him off so bad.  Maybe it was this?  Or that?  Or WTF!?!?!  Like I said, could of been the bike ride that didn't happen but we've had to miss those before due to events or weather.  So I am left wondering once again if there was something we could of said or done differently that would of kept it from going there.  It can really break my heart sometimes not to be able to make whatever is making him so "Les Miserables" go away.  I'm a mom.  I'm suppose to make it better.  I'm suppose to hug him and reassure him but when he's like this, hugging is the last thing he wants.  In fact it makes it worse.  So my maternal instinct is of no use here.  There was no talking him down.  I just had to hope we would have a better day tomorrow. 

He woke up today extra early but it's par for the course.  Still a little pissy but was able to come round.   I gently encouraged my husband to go into the office to "catch up on work" but also I knew he could use the quiet time to decompress.  Hell, he earned it after getting the boy in bed.  So if he spent the time drinking coffee and checking Facebook, I don't blame him.  I would of done the same.  The boy seemed delighted to go to the supermarket with me and help.   We kept to the rest of the Sunday as per usual.  With the exception of setting up the Wii and having a grand old time bowling.  Not his usual Sunday afternoon activity but maybe today will be different.  Knock wood, so far, so good. 

I just jinxed myself by typing that didn't I?  When will I ever learn?


  1. I hear ya mama Fry! Trying to keep my boy busy and not rotting in front of screens is a frickin nightmare sometimes! Learning how to make him think what I have planned that ISN'T a screen related activity is actually HIS IDEA.

  2. I know it's tough and I also know you are skilled beyond reproach but if you ever need to chat or decompress yourself I am here to listen!!

  3. ugh! I hate the meltdowns where I have no clue why or what to do....Like u said, as a mom, it's our job to fix and it sure does piss ya off when ya can't. Here's to a better day tomorrow :)

  4. "Into the zone of no return"...perfect words to what I have been trying to explain for the past 2 1/2 years of toddler + autism tantrums! I wish there was a secret remedie to these unexplained, unabashed, uncontrolled meltdowns. So confusing and really exhausting!! Glad to hear someone else feels my pain:) Why is hearing someone else feel the same bumps and bruises I do so therapeutic?!?!

    1. Im not sure why that is but it sure does make me feel better too. :-)

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