Monday, October 6, 2014

WTF Wednesdays

I'll get right to the point here.  Every Wednesday at school the kiddo is losing his shit.  Lots of scripting.  Lots of waxing nostalgic of meltdowns he's had previously.  So much crying and I don't have a clue as to why this is happen.

The teacher and I have been emailing a lot.  I'm asking questions.  She's asking too. There's a lot of information on the table about this but for now there is no clear pattern.   He's happy and content getting ready for school in the morning.  Skips to the bus with barely a glance to me and off he goes.

One could say "Well this is on the school's watch.  How are you suppose to know?"  But this is autism. Even when he's not with me, he's with me. I'm never not on duty.

It could be something as simple as he doesn't like a certain subject that happens at school that day.  It could be something as the bus takes a different route to school on Wednesdays that sets him off. Or it could be he often gets so fixated on routines and schedules that he is simply stuck.  Twenty five Wednesdays ago he might of had a bad day. All the sudden now he feels the need to recreate that meltdown like some sort of autism historical reenactor. The most frustrating part of this is I won't find out just by asking "Dude,wtf?" like a typical parent/kid exchange might go.   (OK, it would be a cleaner version of that but you know what I mean.)

It's pretty much Blues Clues without the clues or a handy dandy notebook.  It's Tired Mom who's had it being Sensory Sherlock with a smartphone.

Is it a subject?  Is it the principal's color of his tie?  Is it the humming buzz of the school's furnace kicking in?  Even if I do figure it out, he still has to learn to deal with it.  As much as I am always advocating for accommodations, sometimes he has to learn to accommodate us too.   Kiddo, I will always try to help but somethings are just beyond my control.  Even though you seem to think the keeper of the password to the Wifi and the iTunes account must be pretty powerful, I do have my limits.

While the kiddo has no problems in the verbal skills department, it's where and how he uses them that provides the challenge.  Plus add a dash or more accurately a full dose of autism and I'm going to have to pry that conversation out of him.  Even then I'm more likely to hear him scripting along to what the gym teacher told his class a week ago.  (Hula Hoop Time!)

This is where autism sucks.  It's not a gift that I can't figure out why he is so unhappy every Wednesday.  This is not some adorable quirk.  My kiddo is miserable and I have no idea why.  As a mom it pretty much feels like having your heart ripped out of your chest and stomped on.

Why can't it just be easy?  Like ever?  Why can't the reason be something like "I'm tired from partying the night before Mom.  You said party night was always Tuesday nights at college cause no one took double course day on Wednesday."  OK, so maybe it would be a little alarming to hear from my ten year old that he was simply too hungover to be upright let alone be a model student that day. Give me something here Kiddo.  I have no idea what's going on and like it or not everyone is going to ask me first what's up your craw.  Good lord, this must be what it feels like to be a PR for Charlie Sheen.

Help me to help you kiddo.  Really.  There's a side of fries and a Yoohoo in it for you.                                            


  1. Could it be a particular class? Mine has a hard time in art/music class.

  2. Anyway to kinda tag along in School, ninja-like so he doesn't see you? Just to see What's making him tick? Poor little man..

  3. Wednesday's suck here too! Our schools let out 2 hours early on Wednesday's...but only if there is a full week of school. The entire day is mixed up and that is usually the day he is sick or misses the bus!

  4. I like the idea of going to school with him on a Wednesday to try and figure it out. I don't know how else you could find your answer, though it may end up causing problems of its own. My kid has the verbal skills of a 2-year-old and scripts stuff from school all evening, so I always know what she did all day even though I can't ask her.

  5. I love this post! I do not love that you son is having a hard time. I do not wish hard times on anyone. I love the post because it is like an exact mirror into my life. It is so hard to explain Autism to my friends. When they see my son they are so amazed that he can talk... They just don't get it! They have no idea why life is so difficult. I picture them shaking their heads as they leave my home. Saying to themselves, "he can't be Autistic", or "Things are not that bad, why doesn't she go back to work?" They have no idea the thousands of things that I do to get him to where he is now. Just preparing for their visit is a huge challenge. Some might say, why do it then. Why go to all of that trouble? The thing is, I don't want my child to throw things at my friends! I want them to love him as much as I do. The truth is they will probably never really understand him or me. I am so glad there are people out there that do.

  6. Our son has major sleep issues, so his new school schedule is a late start and Wednesdays OFF (well he does have music therapy that day at home). It took a lot of doing to get that accommodation but it was worth it -- my son is so much happier now that he knows he can rest his brain on Wed. Oh, and could it be that Wednesdays are lawn mowing day at school? My son loved watching the machines so much he would lose focus in class...but maybe the noise is bothersome to your son. Just a thought. I love your blog!

  7. Great post. And I love your description--Sensory Sherlock with a Smartphone. We were there too, and I've always said we have to be a Sherlock reading the unreadable clues. But your way is so much more alliterative. I figured out the intense aversion to shirt buttons, the Three Little Pigs, and pictures of fire, but there were somethings I could never get. He missed most of 2nd grade art because of some unknowable thing/person/feeling in that classroom. Despite the fact that he's always been viciously verbal (more alliteration for you), he couldn't always tell us what was wrong. This part gets better, Mama Fry. Mine is now a 20-year-old in community college.

  8. Could it be the school uses a certain cleaning product on Tuesday sanitize and mop floors?

  9. Know exactly how you feel! My son has been going crazy at school and we can't figure out why. It's so frustrating - we don't know if he just doesn't feel well, is tired etc, etc! Then I feel bad because I yell at him for screaming all the freaking time - it drives me crazy! Wouldn't wish this on anyone!

  10. My son used to hate Wednesdays too!!! Whenever the teacher would read the day and the date, she would cringe. "It's Wednesday, October..." "Noooooo" he would collapse into a puddle on the floor. When he was more verbal he told us that he had two specials that day and that was too many classes. We went through the same guessing games. Sorting through everything mentally with a fine tooth comb. Sometimes you just have to let it go for a while and you will find out the real reason later. Easier said than done. Could it be that a certain food is served on Wednesdays that has a bad smell??? Here I tell you to stop thinking about it and I offer a guess. *Sigh* That's how it goes.