Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Bursting some bubbles

I get it. You want to fix it. You're worrying about your kid falling behind. You're trying to hurry and catch up with the rest of the pack.

There's gong to come a point though when it's never going to be enough.  Your kid won't catch up to their typical peers.  I'm not saying that this won't sting or hurt.  It sucks but if you are open to it, you'll realize your kid is going to take their own path.  If you're smart, you'll follow them. They know where they're going.

I'm not going to sugar coat this.  It's not going to get easier.  Each new age will come with it's own new challenges. So just when you get use to one, BAM!  Time to LEVEL UP PUNK! However, the more rounds you go, the more you are going to get used to ducking and weaving. You'll have more in your arsenal for each battle.

You won't just think outside that box.  You'll create that muthaluvin' box.

Kiddo and I are staring down age eleven.  The same age of the autistic students I used to teach prevocational training too.  I'm not going to lie. It's. Freaking. Me. OUT! I thought I had a good old fashioned breakdown when the word "autism" was first mentioned when he was barely two.  Eight years of this under my belt and I'm still just as clueless as to what is going to come down the pike but at the same time kind of familiar with it.

Sometimes I can stop the meltdown before it starts.  I see what's brewing and know what to do to distract it.  Other times, well, The Kiddo reminds me who's boss here and it ain't me.  I'm just the staff.  Oddly enough even with those surprises, I'm getting sort of used to it.  

It's hard to go from the "Got to solve the problem" mentality to "OK. I guess we're just living with this now. Might as well get used to it."  I still struggle with it but I've also accepted our fate with this.  Anyone saying "But yeah, what if they offered you a pill to make the autism go away?" I say this, The Kiddo wouldn't even take the pill.  Literally. He does not swallow pills.  At all.  (Damn I wish he would.  Seriously. Not even a Tylenol!)  So I really see no point of even entertaining those kinds of conversations.

I may not always be happy with our situation but I'm always happy with The Kiddo.  That's the only thing that gets me through on those hard days.

That and another side of fries of course. :-)


  1. Great post - you articulated so well that point where you know there is no catch up. I see it as a fork in the road...where my girl goes off on her own path. I'm doing my best to encourage her to follow her own road, and it is no coincidence when I enjoy her for who she is, she is happier and does better too.

  2. This reminds me of the Josh Woodward song Follow the Road:
    Especially the chorus:

    Just follow the road
    The blood in your veins
    Like a track for the trains
    The heart always aims for the place
    Where you belong

    Just follow it home
    Though it may not agree
    With the path that you seek
    Sometimes you just need to stop searching
    And stand up and go
    Just follow the road

  3. I remember getting to that point with my eldest and feeling just so sad. Letting go of that desire to see him "catch up" was the best thing I ever did for myself. Loved this!

  4. I was asked the question.."does it get better?" the other day. I immediately answered yes, however, after thinking about it, the answer is actually... it gets different.