We were out for dinner and another autism family we knew came in. We're all happy to see each other and probably both thinking "Sweet. Now my kid won't be the only noisy one here. #TeamQuirky ready to raise da roof!"
We go back to eating and I hear the other Club Spectrum member kid order from the waitress what he wanted. By himself. With no prompts. Just rattled it off including asking for a dietary substitution based on an allergy. Total self advocacy for the win.
And I found myself immediately thinking "When will the Kiddo do that? He always orders the same thing here. It's not like he doesn't know what he wants. It should just be a routine by now. Why do I have to keep prompting him to order?" My brain is spinning into overdrive with this and I have to take a breath to steady my nerves.
It's so ridiculous of me. Yes, that kid can order his dinner independently like you would expect any typical kid his age to do. It's also quite possible it's only at THIS restaurant that he can do it at. Maybe he can't do it anywhere else. Maybe he wouldn't react well if he was told by the wait staff that they were out of that item and to pick something else. Or they couldn't make the substitution he wanted, then what? Didn't happen so I don't know. I have to engage in this type of thinking so I don't drive myself bat crap bonkers.
All these years into this AND I still need reminding to get my own ass in gear. So what this kid could do this and mine can't or won't?! You meet one person with autism you have met ONLY ONE PERSON WITH AUTISM! It's quite possible my Kiddo does stuff that would make this other kid's mom wonder "Well why can't my kid do that yet?" We all have different skills. One of mine just happens to be getting caught up in comparing my Kiddo. (Dumb, Girl. So freaking Dumb!)
But that's this autism lifestyle. You're just sitting there minding your business eating dinner and greeting friends and then BAM! It's all in your face what you still have to work on with your kiddo. My mind screaming at me that we are falling behind and we need to catch up. Like some sort of race that NOBODY really wins. Knocks the wind right out of me.
"OK me. Slow your roll. Chill out. Finish your dinner. At least he's using his fork finally."
Okay, so maybe the fork skills still need some work. We'll get there.
We have to just take this one side of fries at a time. ;-)