Wednesday, January 23, 2013

From one Jersey Housewife to another.

Dear Jacqueline Laurita of Jersey Real Housewives fame,

You and I need to talk.  Slap on some velour yoga pants and bring the kids. Yes, especially your youngest with autism.  I got all the autism sensory friendly toys here he could want.  Our kids would have a great time sort of ignoring each other until they both started fighting of who gets to watch toy commercials in Japanese on YouTube on the iPad.  Bring yours with ya.  I got wifi.

Now let me pour ya a big glass of Pinot Grigio. (That's how we housewives roll right?).

First, thank you for coming forward about what's going on with your son.   Yes I totally agree with you.  Autism is NOTHING to be secretive or ashamed about. You are way ahead of me with that.  The time at the start,  fresh off the diagnosis process.  Just being honest about it.  Maybe with your TV fame, you kind of had to be.  Either way, way to own it girl. That's awesome. Cheers! And now your blogging, tweeting, Facebooking, fundraising up a storm.  You want to spread awareness.  With ya there girl.  Clink!

Here's the thing. I'm going to keep it real with ya.  Keep it Jersey.  You got thrust into an influential position now.  There are a lot of  actual real housewives relating to you and your family's story.  When you talked about him regressing.  Not being able to say "I love you" anymore.  Girl, I got you.  I would of hugged you through the screen if I could.  I wanted to have an ugly cry right along side ya.

I got to ask you a favor though when you write, when you tweet, when you speak about this.  Be aware of what you are bringing awareness too. Now I know you just started this journey but you got to remember that it's just that, your journey.  You got to let folks know that.  What's working for your family, isn't always going to work for another.   There's a responsibility now on your shoulders on what you share. I've heard you speak of your son's treatment plan and I hear you spouting off what you have been told it will do.  That's great and all but share with us average joes the details.  How is really helping your kid.  What have you noticed so far?   Save me the sales pitch.  Remember there are great many of us that don't have a Bravo paycheck.  So sometimes we have to make tough choices on what we do for our kids.  We don't always have the resources, time or support to pull off what you do.  I'm not looking at you to be our autism guru.  Just keep in mind that when you speak, folks are listening.

You know what I wish for you? That you weren't a "Housewife".  That after a long ass day, you could eat the cookies you don't tell your family about and watch mind numbing reality TV.  I suspect being on a show has broken the illusion a tad.  Perhaps another channel?  Have you tried Vh1's "Mob Wives"?  That's some good crap right there.

I don't get Bravo checks.  I don't get appearance fees.  Although I do think I should have my own show. I'm hilarious. Can you get me on Watch What's Happening Live?  I love Andy Cohen!   I hope you get a chance to just hang out with other parents like myself in the trenches.  We're pretty awesome if I do say so myself.  So if you ever feel like hiding under the covers, go find some.  We've been there.  We just get it.  We always ready and willing to share our fries and a shoulder to lean on.  Just don't feel like you got to know everything right now.  Some of these answers you seek will only reveal themselves in time.

Another glass of wine?

Mama Fry


  1. Well said ! I too wanted to jump through and just hug her ! I really like her and when a chance to "zone out" I watch. I appreciate what she is trying to do with making people aware. BUT when she used the word "recover" from Autism I got a bad taste in my mouth. Flashbacks from Jenny McCarthy and how she "Cured" her son's autism came rushing in. How many people said to you, Oh, have you read Jenny's book ?? She cured her son !! ARGHHH ! My fear is that it makes the uneducated think that there is a easy cure, some parents must not be working hard enough, they're doing it wrong,why isn't he on a special diet, that's what Jenny said to do ! Giving ideas on how to fix the "problem" instead of shedding light on how autism could effect you and your family forever.Downplaying what a lot of us go through and will continue to need help with. Giving parents with a new diagnosis false "hope" or denial. I'm all for trying anything within reason, that I can afford, but I'm also realistic. My son has made leaps and bounds in some areas, but face it , tying his own shoes may never happen, God bless velcro !! I will always push him and try new things to make a difference, but he might not ever live on his own or assisted living, he might need some kind of care forever, I have to be realistic of my expectations. Now I'll have that glass of wine !! :)

  2. Never seen the show (proudly!) But I am right with you

    1. My thoughts exactly, Domestic Goddess!

  3. not from jersey, but i'll raise a glass. please, please, please - educate yourself before you advocate! thanks mama!

    1. Thank you! I'm glad she's diving right in but I fear she doesn't know what end of the pool she's at!

  4. Thank you for this. I hope she listens. I hope she listens to your advice. This hit the nail on the head. Celebrities who spread autism awareness can be a big help but it has to be done in a way that helps and does not alienate the average person.

  5. Love you! nominated you for the Leibster Award.

  6. Girl, I totally want to have a sit down and clink wine glasses with you. If only so my kids can see some new sensory friendly toys and to mooch off your wifi. <3

    Love your writing!