Friday, June 7, 2013

Come on feel the noise!

Quiet Riot has nothing on the kiddo.  Nada!

It's got to be payback for the teen years right?  When my brother and I played "Stereo Wars" from our bedrooms.   He was blasting The Police or U2.  I had whatever hair band with a pound of make up and spandex du jour going.  I'm really wondering how my parents aren't both deaf.  We both have kids now.  My brother is getting his payback of playing "Synchronicity" constantly.  His daughter likes One Direction.  A LOT.  Lord Sweet Mercy on his soul.  

So what's my payback for playing "Wanted Dead or Alive" ten thousand times in a span of an hour?  Constant ear splitting, brain melting, dear God where are my ear buds, noise. All sorts of noise.  From him or from the four different electrical appliances he likes to run at the same time at any given moment.  I bet you thought your first rock concert was noisy.  Living with the kiddo is like living at the Lollapalooza 92 tour when the Red Hot Chili Peppers took the stage.  ALL THE DAMN TIME. 

His favorite stim noise is to screech.  He screeches when happy or sad or just to amuse himself.  It kind of sounds like a cross between a camel giving birth and the noise you might make if stabbed with a rusty shank.  Not only is this god awful to hear but it's also damaging his vocal cords a ton.  So while I'm all for letting him stim with a good hand flap or pacing up and down my hallway from time to time to self regulate, "NO NOISES" is said quite a bit in this house.  I'm really surprised that both dogs haven't started saying it too.  Maybe I'll just play it on a infinite loop.  It might be easier.   As I have and the kiddo have worked so hard to get him to "use his words" this makes me want to dive off the deep end and let's face it, I didn't have far to go to begin with. 

Plus, lets add running ALL THE ELECTRONICS!!!  Let's get that TV blaring.  Turn on the portable DVD player with something else.  Hop on the iPad and turn up the YouTube.  Wait!  Not done.  Let's get Mama's or Daddy's smart phone and play some videos of himself.  ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!!  I'm pretty sure they said this type of activity was torture with the Geneva Convention and yet on any given day, that's life at French Fry Inc. 

And you haven't LIVED until you get woken up by James Taylor's Greatest Hits blasting in your ear.   Anytime I hear "Fire and Rain" I now get the shakes.  He especially loves to play the CD of it.  You know, the one he's scratched up beyond all recognition and skips all over the place.  Yeah we've got it downloaded on his iPad but playing it on the CD player is better? More mind numbing?  Fun to watch Mama twitch when it skips?  I'm not sure.  He hasn't let me in on that.  I must not be sophisticated enough to understand. 

So yeah, anytime people are like "Oh girl I miss my kids so much when they go to school", me?  Yeah not so much so.  Don't get me wrong.  I miss him.  But the noise?  Not so much so.  Sweet Jesus, thank you for making him the county's problem till 3.

At least eating another side of fries is quiet.  


  1. YAY! I'm not the only one. Don't get me wrong I love the kids but I need a break. I'm the mom at the bus stop on the first day of school pushing them on. Bye now see you later. While all the other moms are crying I'm ready to have a party. Only that would require people and I don't do people so a party for one when the kids go to school.

  2. Party for one is awesome. I so relate. Only I have to walk my kids the two miles to school. Then I get home as fast as possible and pray the phone doesn't ring!

  3. Oh I don't feel so crazy and utterly horrible!! Between the 6 kids, their screaming, their stimming, their TV/Electrconics obsessions, their shrieks, and their fighting (and this is all just in the car for 2 HOURS) I lose my mind...I don't think a field is large enough to filter the noise...but we love them, noise and all.

  4. Oh the shrieking - you have my sympathy. My kid went through an awful phase of shrieking awhile back & I thought I would - and then it stopped, for the most part. Thank the lord. He's pretty much stopped all of his wordless loudness - now he just talks/babbles really loud in near high speed a whole lot, some of it bordering on communication, some of it just favorite words & phrases - but he expects us to pay attention & repeat or acknowledge all of it, so my brain kind of hurts as I try to understand what the heck he's saying so loudly in his own special way. I mean, I know we're blessed that he can talk now & it's not just the old humming of last year, but now I have to make my brain work really hard to comprehend, not just cope. And thank goodness he doesn't know how to work the volume on anything (and we have the TV child locked, so he can't do anything on the TV set itself) - but yeah, he'll have multiple devices going at once on a regular basis and I'm pretty sensitive to loud noise (unless I'm playing my own music in the car, alone). My husband is pretty close to hearing impaired, so he's not much help, being the one who often turns up the volume on the TV, complaining he can't hear anything while I'm starting to twitch from the grating noise.