This blog has been such a big learning experience for me. My interactions with you here and on my Facebook page has really opened my eyes and help me put words to my feelings. In ways, it's great. Sometimes though, it's more frustrating than I ever could of imagined. Let me explain.
Yes, a large majority of my rants are just that, rants. Ramblings of an overtired mom who is just fumbling her way through this. Many of you seem to get where I'm coming from because you are just as lost as me. I have gotten great advice and I've gotten some WTF comments too. Not just stuff I disagree with but possible solutions to issues with the kiddo where I just want to say "Do you think I'm in charge here? I don't make the rules. My boss does". I bet your "boss" does too. Trust me, I'm not trying to do stuff the hard way. I'm lazy and my feet hurt.
There are just certain situations in our autism life where I have no control. Nada. None. Case in point. I lament the other day of having to replace the boy's beloved Cars DVD for the third time. Now before you go running to tell me how I should just download it to his iPad or how Disney has a damaged disc program, stop. It's not about if I know about theses answers or not. It's that they simply will not do. Trust me. I know about them. I've tried. The boy likes DVDs. He also has certain movies he will only watch on certain TVs. Yes, he gets that particular. Heck, one of the main reasons I got the iPad was so I could download on it, music and movies. However, to paraphrase the old song, he wants what he wants when he wants it. Or where he wants it and on the iPad ain't it.
The same with music. The kiddo has an extensive scratched up CD collection. Most of them used to be mine and my husband. Like most things with parenthood, nothing is really mine anymore except maybe my tampons and even those have been played with by the boy. I figured an iTunes list would help me banish the meltdowns over skipping CDs. Nope, not even close. He likes to put the CD in and hold the case. Then walk around the house with it and turn on his certain DVDs in his certain TVs and then play YouTube clips of his favorite commercial jingles on his iPad. ALL AT ONCE. Good times I tell ya. Good times. It's not unusual for me to find an empty Steve Windwood CD case in my bathroom sink. This is just what he does. No convincing him otherwise. What's my other option? Replace said skipping CDs. Sometimes we do. He's on copy number SIX of GLEE presents The Warblers. I pretty much paid for Ryan Murphy's summer vacation home. My other option? Listen to said skipping CD which turns the Greatest Hits of Cat Stevens into a DJ House Music club hit the way it bops all over the song. Peace Train gets funky y'all.
Some of you now get this. Either because your kid does something like that too or perhaps with a few tweaks of their own. Some of you get that's just how an Autism house rolls. This is where I say I don't make the rules. I don't have the autism so really how could I? Now I can make suggestions. I can try to organize the chaos that makes perfect sense to him. Or I could just let it ride and since the kiddo is 9, I'm letting more stuff like this ride. Although I do find myself following after him turning off all the things he just turned on but there are many days where I just am to tired to jump on the "Turn on all the things" exercise loop. I ask him to lower the volume, which he surprisingly does. I put in my ear buds and listen to my own tunes. In those moments I realize it's not worth rocking the boat and questioning the autism rules. Quirk on kiddo.
All I ask is this, before you spend the time typing me or any other blogger a long email or comment on how I can do things instead, remember the autism rules in your house. You'll notice that I am not asking for how to stop something. Trust me, I am blunt. I will flat out say what I need help with. I've been an autism mom long enough to know that. I also know dollars to donuts that you got some rules in your house that you wouldn't even dream of changing.
Stay quirky my fries. :-)