This week at French Fry Inc. we added another set of letters to the mix. OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I can't really say I am surprised. This is pretty common with kids with ASD. Yay, we're just like the other cool kids! We hopped on the ritual bandwagon.
I pretty much felt that these letters were going to be brought up when we went for our annual check in with the developmental pediatrician. Once it was said aloud though by the doctor, well I will admit to feeling a little sad. It's just another set of letters connected to my kiddo. I'm kind of convinced we're collecting all twenty six letters of the alphabet with this autism life. All lined up nearly in a row because Hello, autism.
The scripting is controlling his life. I now see him having to touch everything when he enters and leaves a room. A knocking of his knuckles on the hallway a certain number of times and if he doesn't do it he will circle back and walk down the hall again to get those knocks in. And let me tell ya, those meltdowns I have seen are starting to make a lot more sense now. Well at least the triggers to them. I still don't get why he has to say "Uncle Riiiiiich" in this loud semi growling voice no less than 946 times in a row.
I've always been kind of cool about the stim behaviors. He needs to pace up and down the hall after school for a few minutes? Fine by me. Have at it. We all have our ways to cope. It's like some of these behaviors have really amped up and are just taking over his life. It's kind of breaking my heart when I see him like that.
The doctor suggested another medication and we're going to give it a go. Prozac. Yep, just like his dear old mom. I wonder if I can get it in bulk at Costco. I'm hopeful it will help. At the same time this is the third medication my kid will have to be on. For some reason, this is really chapping my ass. Three medications. Just to be able to function. Just to be a ten year old boy. This is where I sit there and wonder about those folks who say "Autism is a gift.". Really? I'm not sure what kind of autism you mean here. The one I'm seeing, yeah I'm not getting the whole wrapped up in a bow thing.
I see my kiddo struggling. A lot. I love him. Quirks and all. I'm just not a fan of the ones that seem to paralyze him. That stop him from just being in the moment. Life is pretty awesome and I hate to think he's missing it because he's so wrapped up in anxiety and sadness.
Just picked up the medication. Oh the fun of hunting down the liquid version of it because he still has huge amounts of anxiety over putting a pill anywhere near his mouth, let alone in it. I see the pharmacy has slapped on warning stickers not to operate heavy machinery until we see how his body reacts to it. Does the iPad count? Oh and not to drink alcohol. OK, note to self, my ten year old can't go to happy hour at the bar tonight.
Thank God I know I can have a glass of something tonight. I'm gonna need it.