Saturday, November 15, 2014

Something scarier than autism

You know what's scarier than an autism diagnosis?

Autism and puberty!

Good gravy, this kiddo is gonna kill me. Seriously, go buy stock in the L'oreal hair dye company. Business is going to good for the next ten years or so. No sooner do I cover my gray does he give me a reason to sprout twenty new screaming white hairs.

First, we are dealing with some growth spurts galore. OK, that I expected and it's not like I haven't dealt with them before. He puts on a pair of pants that he wore just the week before and they look like shorts. I can't help but wonder is he actually having growing pains. It wasn't just a cheesy sitcom from the 80s. It's a real thing. However, like all physical things with him, he can't tell me. I just get to guess. Which, can I just tell you how much fun that is? He usually clues us in on things like stomach upset by barfing across a table in a crowded restaurant. (Yeah, that's a place we can't go back to for like a year.).

Then, he's been getting some pimples on his face. Most of the time he doesn't seem phased by them. Last week however he had one of his nose the size of a volcano and it was PICK,POKE and POP all day long. Except when it did finally pop, he completely freaked out. I had the fun of trying to clean it up and then explain the importance of leaving it be.  As he had picked scabs till they've gotten infected. I'd like to avoid gang green or MRSA if possible.  I know, I'm a Miss FussyPants like that.

Hormones and hands in the pants. (Sounds like a bad emo band name). You might be thinking "Oh my kid is five and already does this. Big deal."  Oh nooooo Honey. You have no idea. It's about to go through the roof. Times ten. Hands in the pants, hands over the pants, hands holding it as he walks, hands grabbing it as he watches TV, hands grabbing other things to put on his junk to check out how that feels. Yeah, all those vibrating toys you bought for sensory input.  Need I say more?

And can we just discuss the fun of dancing the "Mood Swing Mambo"?  Happy,sad,frustrated,pissy,grumpy,hyper, ecstatic and content all happen AT ONCE!  Oh you thought communication issues were hard when they couldn't tell you what Thomas the Tank DVD they wanted on. Just start stocking up on wine, whiskey and or chocolate for yourself now.

I watch the Kiddo often disappear into his room now. Usually to play music or goof around with his iPad.  I'm of the philosophy that as long as I don't smell smoke, I'm not knocking on that door.  I'm just let my little man do what he has to do in there. Mama Fry doesn't want to know.  He always comes out eventually looking for fries.


  1. Add female into the equation...wanna add the usual female puberty "issue".... Then add the mess that can cause, plus oh let's add the pain that makes vomiting happen with it as well...

  2. ^ oh man I couldn't imagine adding woman issues into it. Thank goodness for boys

  3. He didn't care about the horrible skin break-outs (some of which he still gets at 20) but the grand mal seizures started at 14. That was the absolute worst.

  4. Oh my! I can only imagine. Angel is seven but I do know how time flies.

  5. As the parent of a 14 year old spectrum boy, I can so relate! And I thought toddler tantrums were bad. Holy moly! I am suffering through this right along with you.

  6. Mama Fry, I am right along with you! My 12 year old has autism, is nonverbal, and also going through puberty. We can get through this together!

  7. I am glad to see you have a sense of humor - it is soooo important right now - I have a 15 year old girl on the spectrum. There was a point when my husband literally could not leave us alone together because we would be trying to kill each other when he returned - and you would think I should know better as an adult. Happily that phase seems to have passed.

  8. Enter female-specific issues. As an autistic girl, I can safely say that this would make things scarier on many levels.