What do I do? I pick and choose my outrage. I have to do it. It's a matter of survival. I am the Queen of circling the wagons to protect the last shreds of sanity I have left. Let me give you a few examples.
Every few months a page will pop up on Facebook with the sole purpose of rattling the autism community at large. It will have some name like "Kill all Autistics" or "Autistics are murderers". Some crap like that. Anyway, I think that's probably the ONE thing the whole autism community can agree on is that it's awful. (See guys, we don't have to fight all the time! It's possible to agree on something!) A few times I have reported it to Facebook and asked you all to do the same and we get that beotch "French Fried" and shut down. We feel like we got something done with our collective outrage and wait for the next time it will pop up. Cause it always pops up again. That dude is a one trick pony and yes, I said dude. I really think it's only one guy. He uses the same 5 pictures and has the same token outrageous statements each and every time. Troll boy, try harder. Your troll game is growing stale.
However, the last time he did it I completely ignored it. Why? Cause I'm done feeding that attention whore. I really am. I'm taking a page out of any parenting book and "planned ignoring" his ass. I know a bunch of you were emailing me and I didn't respond and you were probably wondering "WTF?" about it but that time I was all "NOPE". I'd rather on doing something else than having the same exact fight again and again. I don't mind if you all want to pick that to be outraged by. Knock yourself out. No, don't do that. Go knock that guy out. Or some sense into him. I'm just gonna sit over here with my cup of coffee and try figure out how I'm going to organize my first ever #TeamQuirky meet up. (Goal for the year. I typed it. So now I have to hold myself to it.)
You know what I am willing to give my outrage to? Autism and wandering because holy crap! That is worth my outrage. Our kids are dying. That is worth me screaming about it from the fecking roof tops. I cannot stomach to see another missing child with autism alert go through my social media feed because I know what the follow up story will be. No more! That's another reason I did that Autism and Law Enforcement Round table last month and hope to do more. I'm focusing my outrage towards action.
Oh, here's another thing I didn't know I was suppose to be outraged by but thank you dear Internet, always someone willing and ready to school me. ;-) Inspiration Porn. Did you all know this was a thing? Or at least that's what some folks call those feel good viral stories that make the social media circuit. Anywho, you know what? If reading nice stories about people being nice to other people isn't your thing, that's cool. So be it but some of the rest of us (i.e. ME) like to see a bit of good in this world that on average is rather craptastic on any given day. I'm not just talking about autism themed stories. I'm talking about all the viral stuff. The soldiers returning from deployment. Animals being adopted from shelters. Yadda, yadda, yadda. You know what I mean. I need those moments of win. You don't like 'em? Fine Don't give them your "Click". Scroll on. Be angry somewhere else.
The world in general can be pretty horrible and yeah, being nice is a rarity these days. That's just the cold hard facts. Folks DO need reminding to be be freaking human to each other. In fact, I don't even mind that you are outraged by this inspiration porn. That's totally you right to be. I'm just going to be over here with my opinion. You go over there with yours. It's cool, dude. It's cool. You see that old motto of "Agree to disagree" means just that. Not "I'm going to say that but at the same time shame you into seeing things my way." If that's your way of doing things, please go have a seat with the rest of the miserable people. I'm not at that table.
When it boils down to it, the only thing I will be outraged by is any restaurant running out of fries. In this house, that is worth a Henry Rollins induced smack down. Anything else, pfffft. Whatever. I got laundry to do. ;-)
Opps! I forgot to be outraged and probably to take out something to defrost for dinner.
"I don't sit at that table"; Brilliant <3ReplyDelete
I had a similar epiphany that if you really want to care less about things, you literally have to care Less. Not everything needs my 100 percent simply because I can bring it. We as a collective society would all benefit from protecting our energy better. I mean, doesn't anyone remember what negative energy does in Ghostbusters 2 ??? LOL :)
I just love you so much.ReplyDelete
re inspiration porn:ReplyDelete
It's cool that you're not outraged by it, and I agree there are more positive directions for energy.
That said, I think there's a difference between happy, feel-good stories and ones that use someone's "misfortune" to make other people feel better about their lives. In my view, if a "happy feel-good" story makes someone feel less-than, it's probably not for me.
If you're interested, the late Australian disability activist Stella Young has a really good TED talk that addresses inspiration porn. She may have even coined the term - http://www.ted.com/talks/stella_young_i_m_not_your_inspiration_thank_you_very_much?language=en
Loving this. Hugs Momma Fry. To add some niceness here, my guy has finally come around to hugging. He used to avoid it at all costs but recently has taken to randomly hugging. It makes me tear up as he does it completely on his own and out of the blue. Keep on fighting the good fight Momma!ReplyDelete
I know what you speak of, my non verbal son at age 14 finally came over to me and "apologized" for his attack on me after his iPod died after 10 minutes...I literally cried my eyes out after he sheepishly came around the corner and looked up at me...touched the middle of my forehead as is his unique way (and not very often) and actually grabbed arms around me. Monumental and confirming. I live for these breakthrough moments as LOVE conquered all that day....even communication.no words required.Delete
Yep... Hope you don't mind me pulling up a chair to your table...Delete
The inspiration porn makes me happy in my facebook feed. If you hate it, feel free to hide anyone who posts it. I think you are handling the autism lunatic the right way, and can't imagine what must be wrong with that man that would cause him to post such things.ReplyDelete
Thank you for saying this. I'm sure my blog has plenty of inspiration P+++ (I don't even like saying the word) because hey, my kids inspire me! And I like to write about that, too. And some days, parents need inspiration to get through the hard days. It's how we all help each other. :)ReplyDelete
there is a difference between feel good stories or inspirational stories, and inspiration porn.Delete
sharing a success is good, rejoicing in another's success is good (there's a fair few of those posts here), anything which makes a person feel less important, less than a whole person, or uses another person's or group's difficulties or misfortunes to make someone else feel good, pity them, or guilt them into action, that's where i get uncomfortable.
i have personally been made into inspiration porn, without my permission. someone got a short video of me crawling out of a wheelchair into a swimming pool. the words "if she can do that, what's you're [sic] excuse?" plastered across the video. the video clip was only a few seconds, showing only me struggling into the pool, nothing about my success, determination, progress, or awards, and nothing about why it matters to me, just a very short video clip of me struggling. it took me months to get some of those videos off the more popular sites, but there's still some copies of it floating around. i don't mind being inspiration for someone else, but if i am, i want people to see all of me, or at least not just my disability.
Timely post! My New Year's resolution was to dump every "support" group and page that spend all their energy on judging and shaming others. I've been a special needs parent for over 20 years, and if the internet was like it is now when she was younger and going through the really difficult stuff I would have lost my mind second guessing myself, suppressing my own experience, and feeling like the worst mother in the world all while she needed a strong and confident advocate! Having support nowadays is worse than having none at all. You and two specific epilepsy pages are the only ones left!ReplyDelete
I just wanted to drop a line and let you know that I truly enjoy reading your writing. I have no connection with autism in my family, but I like to read your writing and hear how you deal with people and how you would like to be treated when out and about. I am a ballroom dance instructor and had the joy of teaching a little boy with autism for awhile. He did a fabulous job and he and his mom taught me a lot. I know you probably don't really care about any of this, but I just really wanted you to know how much I enjoy YOU. Keep on keeping on Mama and I will keep reading until you quit or I die. Thank you for keeping it real.ReplyDelete
You summed up my goal for 2016! "Give less f*cks." Crappy people don't deserve an ounce of my time. I choose to focus on the awesome in the world this year and to ignore the jerks. Not to be ignorant of the outrageous things that are happening in the world but to change the things I can an let go of the things I can't. Happy New Year!ReplyDelete