Monday, November 21, 2016

1 in 41.

All I kept hearing was how the school couldn't provide what he needed.  Let's call it what it is.  They WOULDN'T provide what he needed and this is the problem.  In case you haven't noticed dear school administrators throughout the state of New Jersey, the rates in our state for kids with autism ARE THE LARGEST in the country.  1 in 41 compared to the national average of 1 in 68. And that's just the kids!  I'm not including autistic adults in that equation.  

Oh wait. Someone ought to tell you. SPOILER ALERT! Autistic kids GROW UP!  I know. I know. This information shocks you but it just might explain why parents like myself are so freaking nuts about wanting to give our kids a good education. 

So maybe, just maybe, New Jersey and it's public schools should get their shit together when it comes to providing a free and appropriate education in the least restrictive environment.  You know, that right which is protected under THE LAW.  Seeing as our kids with autism are just as deserving and entitled as citizens of this country to an education like their neurotypical peers. 

But hey old school, remember when you seemed be be baffled about providing appropriate sensory tools for my Kiddo and his classmates.  Like you had nothing and were asking me what was needed in his classroom six weeks into his time being there.  He wasn't the first autistic kid that walk in that door. He won't be the last either.  Seeing as what the rates are in this state. 

Then we had the fun of fighting you to get that FBA done. Despite my husband, myself, and pretty much every single teacher and staff member from his old grammar school saying "This isn't the Kiddo. Something is wrong.", we still had to push to get that done. We suggested that a one to one aide would be helpful here as our son was struggling with crippling anxiety and grief over this new situation he was in and I heard again and again "Oh we don't think we can." 

But you finally got your wish. We left. Yay! Congratulations!! Let's tell the fine folks at home what you have won dear school district. 

You now get to foot the bill for my son's new placement till he's 21.  You get to pay for his one to one aide that is now in his IEP.  You get to pay for an on site BCBA that will be there every day. You bank roll both speech and occupational therapy for the lad.  But the best (and I would venture to say the Kiddo's personal favorite) is the door to door transportation via a bus company that you have to contract out. 

Hey, remember Old School how you made us buy fidgets and toys for him to use in the classroom.  Now I'm no fiscal expert but I am betting buying a couple of chewelry pieces is less expensive than shipping every kid out of your district that doesn't fit your mold.  That maybe dragging your feet to hire a paraprofessional who makes $12 and change an hour would be a better investment than sending every kid that has behavior challenges someplace else.

Oh and just so your clear, when I said my son needs a weighted blanket, your suggestion and offer of a weighted vest that's a size too small is NOT the same thing.  Again, while a weighted blanket is more expensive than your average blanket. It is less expensive than sending a student out of district.

I'm not so hot at math but wouldn't making the investment in some items and education for your staff be a better use of your money in the long term.  Seeing as all these special needs students get services up to the age of 21? Just a thought!

Is it a case that you are just hoping to make it to your retirement age without having to address this rapidly growing population?  Leave it for the next up and coming administrator that takes over your job to handle? Are you just on cruise control till pension time?

Is the total figure of what it cost just to educate ONE kid with autism just so large you don't even take it seriously? I mean, it's not your money or anything.  Oh wait, tax paying dollars and all. Yeah, it is.

Wouldn't you want your money invested wisely? Cause even if you are not in my town, you're in some town.  I've been talking to a lot of Jersey parents and this pushing them out of district move is happening a lot and with the autism rates rising it's only going to get more expensive. Hell, it's about to get a lot more expensive in my town as the families coming behind us want nothing to do with the town's middle school and beyond now. Hope you new Board of Education members are budgeting accordingly.

If you don't invest in these kids now, just wait till you see what the cost will be when they are adults.

Till then, "You get to pay for my Kiddo's school!! And you get to pay for my Kiddo's school and YOU ALL GET TO PAY FOR THE KIDDO'S SCHOOL!!!!" 


  1. Homerun. Same thing happens here in small town Indiana.

  2. Homerun. Same thing happens here in small town Indiana.

  3. How do you get them to pay for it? My son will be starting school soon. How do you get them to pay for the things he needs when they tell you they can't? School scares me a bit. :(

  4. Sound of many hands clapping and tears running down cheeks. Perhaps a copy of the invoice to Mr Trump? That's the only kind of cost administrators get and they don't even seem to get that one. Never mind the emotional educational and societal costs.

  5. Same boat. Over 1.5 yrs in. No change. Hired a lawyer. Still waiting. He is 9 and 3 yrs of education gone. He regressed because they couldn't and would not provide 1:1. He now hates school.

    1. Rather a lot of kids hate school -- kids both on and not on the spectrum.

  6. I SAY THIS WITH THE I pulled my son from public school after kindergarten.I wasnt waiting, fighting,expecting anything.I had to quit working and never was it in my cards.Im a single parent.I intervened and I hate seeing how the treat all kids in school system.Yes, these kids are going to be adults and I know I didnt want a an adult looking me in face 21 with NO LIFE SKILLS.I have NO FAMILY SUPPORT.I made this decision for my son cause he wasnt going to school each day to be head count.My son 1:and thats me.I can only imagine if I left im public school or took advantage of or private school scholarship for special needs.It took one year and enrolling in the following school year to REALISE..They dont give a darn about the kids they are setting bar low so low that its a waste.I have been doing everything I could help my son with the common knowledge and no without doubt he wouldnt be where he is..This world could careless about our kiddos.I am tired but I rather be tired than tired of fighting a school for whats due.Good luck to all, I just see it fit ..DO IT YOUR DAMN SELF AND STOP EXPECTING THIS WORLD TO CARE....I SYMPATHIZE WHICH ALL THE PARENTS BUT I AM A REALIST..

    1. Excuse the grammatical errors.I proofread all day...From the above author.I know everyone cant not homeschool.BUT THAT WAS MY ONLY OPTION...

  7. Kids as such already need too much care when starting school and if the child has autism disorder then it’s really too difficult toilet training autism and utmost care are required for them.

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  9. I just don't understand the logic! We went through some crap (my oldest went through three primary schools - that's years K to 6, for the non-Australians) but her education was still provided by public schools. I'm thankful for our government!
    But surely that school had to have known the consequences? If it's a public school, then surely they are informed of what the cost will be to them if they drive a child away? And is it just this school that pays? Or is the cost just spread over the whole public school system? Because if that's the case, the school might not directly feel the pinch and therefore it was worth just dropping the 'hassle' that is dealing with a special needs child?
    My head is spinning. I need a good lie down.