Be it about an experience, a feeling or a result, who knew two words could pack such an emotional punch? A simple "Me too." can make my day. I feel less alone. I feel like I can go on. I feel like autism is the trip with my tour guide that I was suppose to take.
But for every "Me too." comes a question. "What will happen when your kiddo reads all this some day?" to that I say honestly, "I don't know but I'll be writing about that too." Cause I will. This blog forces me to be honest about subjects I sometimes would prefer not to address at all. You think I won't address that issue too? Let me put it another way. It would be the greatest gift in the world to me if my Kiddo could read this one day and understand that it was all about him and me putting our lives out there. I welcome his outrage and anger. He has every right to those feelings and any others that might bubble up about it.
You think I'm first mom to write about her kid? HA! That's been going on since forever. I would venture to guess that some of those prehistoric cave paintings were some parent griping about their kid not cleaning up after their pet Wooly Mammoth or some shit like that. The autism mom blogger isn't a new concept. We didn't invent the wheel. Even if I stopped, five new blogger are born. I know this because they usually send me their stuff to read. (I swear guys. I'm trying to read it all. Be patient with me! My family occasionally likes to see me without my phone in my face.)
I know I personally need the "Me too." because it's sometimes made all the difference in my behavior and attitude. I still wrestle with how I feel about autism daily. I have to give myself multiple pep talks A DAY to get through it. In fact, if you ever see me writing a note on social media pages that sounds like a cheerleader who has double fisted a couple of Red Bulls, it's because I needed to give myself a pep talk to get through that day. Cause this shit is hard and you will never convince me that it's not. Nor will you silence me into shame for even thinking it.
And just when I am ready to lose my mind, my Kiddo has a wonderful way of reminding me he is just as confused about this all as I am. We hug it out with a big "Me too.".
Nobody is wrong with feelings. It's what you do with them that counts.
Sneaky ninja hugger Kiddo. Always making me forget what I was upset about.