Friday, June 21, 2019

Chore time

Gather round Fry Family! We need to have a family meeting. Apparently, some folks on social media feel I'm some sort of meanie because I "make Kiddo do chores like vacuuming and taking in the groceries".

Well, I suppose I ought to start this response with a "Thank you" because if it was not for your fervent devotion to monitoring possible screw ups in my parenting choices I wouldn't have a topic to post. So props to you for being my muse! *SMOOCH!*

But now, I have to go Jersey on you. Buckle up, Buttercup. I have a lot to say on this.

First off, I am his parent and part of my job is to raise him to know basic life skills. In fact, I'm like the perfect person to do these sorts of things because before motherhood and autism had me "level up", I use to work with autistic teens and adults as a job coach and a Pre Vocational Instructor. Like it's in my DNA, Boo. I have to ask. Did you NOT have chores around your house as a child? Because I hate to break it to you but if your parents didn't, they messed up. They just did. Chores are the first steps in job training. FOR EVERYONE. Did you think a different neurology would give Kiddo some sort of free pass from chores?

Second. He lives here. He helps contributes to the mess. He can help clean things. That's just basic common decency. Everyone that lives in my house contributes to it's upkeep. Hell, even my dogs know to follow Kiddo around when he's eating and dropping snacks. They do their bit between vacuum sessions.

Third. I'm going to guess some of you are parents complaining are parents of young spawn. Spoiler alert, our kids grow up. Guess what? They can like do stuff for you and it's like helpful and shit. I'm pretty sure my Dad was dancing a gig the first time my brother mowed the lawn. My mom probably smiled with joy the first time I folded a load of laundry. Your kids might not be able to do what hes' doing now but you can and you should find age appropriate chores for them to do. Believe me you, it's a lot easier to start teaching them these skills when they are three then when they are thirteen.

Fourth. The Kiddo is FIXATED with the vacuum and I have two dogs. Like I'm NOT going to use that fixation to make EVERYONE happy? Focus on their strengths! For any kid. My mom saw I liked to cook. Guess who got put in charge of making dinners some nights? I got to make a dish I liked. She got to catch up on her PEOPLE magazine. Everybody wins! And let it be known there was a time he was TERRIFIED of the vacuum. He straight up went running to me to hide when he heard my husband take it out of the closet. Just the simple act of him doing it on his own now without being asked is a symbol of the hard work and progress he has made.

Happily cleaning the rugs!

He even does my Mom's house because getting to a vacuum a new place to him is FUN! (Plus it's a nice thing to do for his Granny Fry and he knows she's gonna pay him in ALL the good snacks.)

You know, it will be seven years this August since I started writing this blog and it's amazing to me what people will say in response to what I put out there. Both the good and the bad of it. The folks that have a problem with some of my choices so much so that they feel the need to hunt down my email and write me a letter complaining about me having my kid bring in shopping bags from my car though, I have to ask, who the Hell is watching your kids when you are doing all that? Like aren't you busy too? Aren't you tired? I see lots of stuff online I don't agree with or don't like. You know what I do? I scroll on! Did telling me you think it's wrong I make him do things around the house make you feel that much better? If so, I'm sending you my bill. "Window Fries" runs aren't cheap.


  1. I applaud you. These days our children are treated like snowflakes and it's only going to harm them in the long run. I had chores growing up and see nothing wrong with teaching kids (neuro typical or not) life skills by doing chores.

    You keep going Jersey on them girl. Tell 'em how it is!

  2. UK. My son (14) does chores, no chores no pocket money. He is fantastic at emptying bins (and standing in them to squash it down for more room). At nearly 6ft tall and super strong he gets loads of extra chores. My daughter (11) has been cooking meals since she was 4 - her favourite job is pairing up socks out the dryer. WIN WIN!!

  3. Tell them like is. All of my kids do chores. My son keeps his room spotless. He picks up after himself. He helps me bring in the groceries and helps put them away in the correct place. He puts his dirty laundry where it belongs then puts his clean clothes away. OMG I’m killing him. Lol. You are so right Mamma Fry that chores are job training skills and life skills. I had chores when I was a kid. Some of the parents today are too worried about being their child’s best friend rather than being their Parent. My job is to raise my kids to the best of my ability with morals and values, respect and prepare them for the real world. Of course we have fun too but at the end of the day I’m their Mother and I have a responsibility to them, especially my son. It would be a disservice to him if I did not teach him all of these things to prepare him for whatever he may do. Thank you for posting this!!!

  4. I grew up on a ranch. Talk about chores! With large, possibly sharp implements and animals big enough to do serious damage if you couldn't read their body language. The funniest complaint about what I did in the ranch, that my mom heard and shared with me was . . .how horrible it was that this little 100 lb girl was forced to drive a big machine and help with hating in the hot summer months. Well, let me explain a few things. That big machine had a comfy seat, power steering, an enclosed cab and air conditioning. I had snacks, cold drinks, and my walkman with plenty of cassettes for me to sing at the top of my lungs with. When there was a problem with the machine, I usually knew how to fix it. I knew how to fix it in a safe manner and had the proper tools to do the job. Also if my dad or anyone else noticed I was stopped for a while someone would come check on me. I knew how to properly maintain the machine, put fuel in it, clean the windows, etc. And, GASP, I got paid for the hours I put in. Better pay than the kids in town. I bought my own school clothes every fall. Now, what's cruel about that?

  5. I stumbled upon your blog post about "Chore Time," and I must say, it's incredibly insightful. It's heartwarming to read about your experiences and how you manage chores in your household, especially when dealing with autism.

  6. I believe that establishing routines and involving children in chores can be incredibly beneficial for their development and independence. Your approach of creating visual schedules and making it a fun and rewarding experience is fantastic.

  7. "I can't express how much I appreciate the effort put into this blog. It's a must-read for anyone seeking quality information and thoughtful analysis."
    current bank promo code

  8. "I've recommended this blog to colleagues and friends because I believe it's a hidden gem that deserves wider recognition."
    lowes 10 coupon generator