My parenting life is so not the norm. I know this and I'm okay with it, somewhat. Little things though do get under my skin.
Like yesterday the kiddo comes home with a note inviting me to a "Mother's Day Tea" at his school. I knew this was coming as with any event we prep him for it a month in advance. He's only just in the last six months been okay with seeing me at school and more importantly, seeing me leave it without him. I cannot tell you how much of a drag it was to drop off meds to the school nurse once a month when he classroom is right next door to her office. Spy v Spy ain't got nothing on me as I would creep passed his classroom door twice. Once his principal saw me in the hall and I "Sshhhh" ed him really loudly as he went to say my name and mimed to the open door while throwing my hood up on my coat so the kiddo wouldn't notice. Cause that was my life.
I'm happy to attend. What I'm not so happy about was the note attached to the invite asking me to send in a recipe of my child's favorite meal that I make so they can put together a cookbook for all of us moms. Ummmm, clearly they don't follow this blog. Something tells me sending in a picture of the Ore Ida bag isn't gonna cut it either. I'm seriously considering sending in one for Coq an vin just to mess with their heads.
And I know I can't be the only mom rolling her eyes at this right? Whether your kid is neurotypical or has an alphabet soup diagnosis after their name, kids generally eat the same damn things. Do I really need a recipe book filled with recipes like Mac and Cheese (which he won't eat) or frozen pizza? Some moms will actually be able to send in a real recipe that their kid actually eats but most like me are currently wondering how to write up a recipe for chicken nuggets and tater tots. Here are some of my choices. Which one do you think I ought to send?
Rip straw off of box
Whine until Mom unwraps it
Pop in box.
Sip and enjoy!
Microwave French Fries
Drag Mom to freezer and point to box
Rip open box and toss on the microwave turning plate you keep forgetting to clean
Have child press "French fries" on his Proloquo2go app again and again till the microwave beeps
Dinner done! Or Breakfast. Just call it hash browns
Veggie Stix puffed rice snacks
Buy ginormous bag from Costo
Rip open bag so fast that some fall out onto floor. Don't worry. Your pets will like them.
Eat only the orange and white ones. Leave the green ones for Mom. They pair nicely with wine after child goes to bed.
Boil Hot Dog and place in bun
Have ten minute discussion with child if they want ketchup or mustard.
Remember they won't even eat said hot dog so who cares?
Child will eat said bun and leave the hot dog.
Mom will eat said hot dog with her green Veggie Stix snacks from above.
So, which one should it be? ;-)